Let me be clear, I’m not walking down the aisle anytime soon. My left hand is still bling-free, except for the occasional glittery nail polish. While I would love to go to Hawaii or Mexico ASAP, it certainly won’t be on a honeymoon.

While The Boy and I will soon celebrate our fourth year of happily holding the rope at both ends, so-to-speak, others are getting ready to actually tie the knot. After all, it’s winter – wedding-planning season; not to be confused with wedding-ceremony season (spring and summer).

I’ve been learning a lot about what it takes to plan a wedding from my lovely colleague – Brianna Butterfield. Brianna, an advertising/sales representative with a journalism degree, eloquently shares her story of planning a classic, outdoor affair, where she will wed the love of her life, Paul.

You don’t have to be getting hitched anytime soon to appreciate a good romance, and all the juicy details of someone else’s wedding. I certainly loved hearing about the cupcake tasting, the gorgeous Luly Yang gowns, and the surprising proposal in Brianna’s story.

But what I really appreciate is how she talks about the difference between a wedding and a real relationship.

Often, I think we are seduced by the pretty pictures in magazines, the myths of overly-simplified happily ever-afters.

Real life isn’t like that.

Whether it’s getting through a fight or planning a wedding – relationships take a lot of hard work. Of course, those tougher moments will be intertwined with moments of bliss, too.

The trick is to find the person who can handle love’s challenges, as well as its rewards.

Those are special people. Hold on to them.

I don’t believe in making New Year’s resolutions. If you’re going to make a positive change in your life, I think you should just go for it. No matter if it’s January or July.

In this issue of The Scene, we tackle the topic of change in various ways.

With a guide to spring fashion, our guest writer Alix Rose, from the wildly successful, self-titled indie fashion blog, gives us an idea of how pieces from your winter wardrobe can transition into spring and summer. As she points out, spring is a glorious non-committal period. The scarves and heavy coats are put away. But the blazers left over from holiday parties can still be used over cotton dresses that will later work for summer.

There are more dramatic ways to improve yourself than a change of clothes.

In our cover story, we explore and attempt to honor, two sides of an often hotly-debated topic – plastic surgery.

Whether you’re someone who sees it as going against Mother Nature, or you’re a hot momma who’s proud of your post-baby body work, many people have strong opinions, and even emotional responses, when talking about plastic surgery.

I implore you to keep an open mind to both sides. As the story points out, some people are better off focusing on self-acceptance, self-love – appreciating their own gifts and uniqueness.

Others are ready for lifestyle changes. These changes can help people to become their ideal selves, on the inside, the outside or both.

No rush, but as you go about this year, find what positive changes make you a happier, healthier person.

Whether it’s getting a flat tummy so you can finally feel confident in your own skin, getting a metaphorical monkey off your back, or making a commitment to take better care of yourself, take it from Gandhi: Be the change you want to see.

Loud & About Column by Heija Nunn

Hey Santa! Have you heard the news? The best gifts come from every department BUT the toy department. Here’s what they really want.

Kids love a good mess. Mix up a potion kit with a personalized plastic storage drawer filled with empty travel size containers, a spray bottle for “magic mist,” a funnel, a turkey baster etc. Add cheap lotion, baking powder and rice for older kids to mix and pour outdoors.

Storage drawers are fabulous for party supplies for the younger child who likes everyday celebrations and mud pie kits that include a mortar and pestle for smashing leaves, pie tins, a garden kneeling pad, shovel and a lettuce knife (a plastic chef’s knife) that can be safely used by kids.

Who doesn’t love the possibility of a fresh pad of paper? Ignore the gimmicky plastic diaries covered in licensed characters. Surprise your scribe with grown up journals by Moleskine or splurge on a leather covered blank book guaranteed to unleash your surly teen’s deepest thoughts.

Every child needs their own desk stapler, tape dispenser and pencil sharpener. Last year my husband wrapped a set for everyone because he was tired of searching for his under Sweetie Boy’s bed.

Kids are obsessed with fixing stuff, which usually involves breaking something first. One of the most useful items we own is a collapsible 30 inch utility table available at Costco. It easily transforms from a workbench to a desk, to a lemonade stand, to a bar table … oops … I mean, Lego station. Add rolling Craftsman stools and safety glasses, and the kids hardly have to leave the garage.

Your kid also wants and needs tape – lots of tape, especially duct tape. Tape is the key to creativity as long as they know not to use it to bind and gag their friends (more than once).

Children are in a hurry to grow up. As a result they love gifts that make them feel one step closer to autonomy. Receiving mail in their names is a big hit (maybe not the utility bill at first); a magazine subscription is a gift that keeps on giving.

Outfitting a kid to share a grown up hobby like fishing, photography or geology can be a lasting investment. And since they’re likely to move out eventually (unless they are destined for billionairedom), it is never too early to start their art collection. Signed posters, framed dead bugs, art fair finds and their own art, thoughtfully framed, will look amazing in their first apartment.

One of my daughter’s favorite toys was a silver tea set we kept on our coffee table. An inexpensive full size set from Grandma’s attic or the local goodwill would be an uber-thrill for a pint size Martha Stewart. This is also true of briefcases, fussy handbags and costume jewelry. Just be sure they are safe and age appropriate.

While you’re recycling nostalgia, take a trip down memory lane by loading your spawn’s iPod with shows from the olden days. Sistafoo is in love with MacGyver DVDs from her clever aunt, and the boys love the vintage cartoons their dad loads onto their iPod Nanos for travel. I already have the first season of Bewitched stashed to give this year.

If you still find yourself short-gifted and panicked on Christmas morning, never fear, 7/11 is near. Desperate dads and uncles can end the day “giftorious” if they present a 7/11 gift card wrapped into an empty Slurpee cup, or for instant hero status and a real blast for everyone, just show up with a few 2-liters of Coke and some tubes of Peppermint Mentos. Both are more fun than a year’s supply of batteries and more appropriate than a pack of cigs and a starter Playboy.

Wanna say Hiya to Heija? Follow her on Twitter (@Heija) Friend her on Facebook or relax, sit back, and silently judge her life in the flickering glow of your computer screen at her blog The Worst Mother in the World (www.Heija.com).

By Gabrielle Nomura

Here’s the 411 on D.L. Hughley: He grew up in South Central Los Angeles, the son of an airline maintenance worker and a homemaker. The troubled kid would become a member of the Bloods gang after getting kicked out of high school. It wasn’t until a cousin of his was shot that managed to turn his life around. The experience made him quit the gang and get a job as a telemarketer for the Los Angeles Times, where he moved into management and met his wife-to-be. She was the one who convinced him to try his humor on stage.

After years of club dates, he was selected by BET as the first host of “Comic View” and subsequently got additional recognition with two adult-oriented HBO specials. You know him from his work in radio, TV ( “Scrubs”) and his friendship with fellow star from the film “The Original Kings of Comedy” – Bernie Mac.

SCENE: Describe your standup in one word?

DL: Funny.

SCENE: How is your sitcom comedy different from your standup?

DL: Sitcom comedy is more collaborative, more people more egos. It’s more dependent on other people. Standup is a singular, lone-wolf kind of thing.

SCENE: Out of all the things you’ve done in TV, film and radio, what’s one of your favorite projects?

DL: I enjoyed “Kings of Comedy.” I was young. Nobody had ever done a film like that before and it was like lightning in a bottle. I didn’t know to what degree it would be successful.

SCENE: Your costar for that film was one of your best friends, the late Bernie Mac. What do you miss most about him?

DL: I miss him more as a man than anything else. He taught me not to be single-minded and to stand up for what you believe in.

SCENE: Where do you get inspiration for your material?

DL: How can you have a Penn. State sex scandal and a black guy running for president with multiple accusers of sexual harassment and not come up with material? National TV is the gift that keeps on giving.

SCENE: What kind of projects do you like to get involved with?

DL: Things that have a sense of immediacy, that are tied into what’s going on.

SCENE: What was your childhood like in L.A.?

DL: There are two kinds of people: People who really enjoy the first quarter of their life and grow up in a home where they can look fondly back at it, and there are people who are strapped by their childhood and can’t wait for it to be over. It’s miserable, scary and you figure it’s only got to get better from there. I was in that second group. I think you either have it really good early, or really good late.

SCENE: What were the biggest challenges you had to overcome to become successful in the entertainment industry?

DL: There are times when you have to decide what kind of man you want to be. I think it’s a lot of things. Do you want to be funny, famous, have faith? That was the most difficult part, deciding. In the end, I feel like I chose to be me and to edify my own belief system. I was never inspired or intrigued by fame. I am always happy and grateful when someone comes up and recognizes me, but I think fame can be as bad as a drug and equally intoxicating. I’ve seen crack addicts have more dignity than famous people.

SCENE: What advice do you have for people who may come from circumstances similar to yours? How can you turn your life around?

DL: Most people don’t know how to be their own hero – but that’s what you have to be. The sooner you can do that for yourself, the better.

D.L. Hughley will perform at the Parlor Live Comedy Club on Dec. 15-17. For tickets, go to www.parlorlive.com.

Style Watch Column by Rose Dennis

It is that joyous time of year to begin looking for those perfect holiday gifts. When selecting a gift, choose an item that the recipient will enjoy. Surprises are nice, and requesting a gift list is OK, but please remember, NO re-gifting.

A donation to a favorite charity, a new cookbook, CD or DVD are nice gift choices, along with gift cards to their favorite restaurant or retail store. Here are some other gift suggestions from select retailers in Bellevue. Happy shopping!

Wee Tots Children’s Store is a new children’s store located in Old Bellevue that carries a large selection of high quality and top-line baby and children’s furniture, clothing, toys room decorations and more.

Moulin Roty’s French suitcase boasts a rabbit and a mouse with clothing to dress them in. Your little fashionistas will love toting this suitcase-cum-wardrobe to wherever their adventures lead them. Ages 3+, $95.95. 10245 Main St. Suite 103 425-502-7182.

Glassybabies make great gifts, and they come in a multitude of different colors that can be mixed to create warmth and comfort. For the holidays, glassybaby created two new colors: Hope and Joy, which sell for $40 each. 10230 Main St., Bellevue, 425-256-2927.

David Lawrence is known for pushing the limits for the past two decades in the Northwest’s fashion scene with luxury designer labels, like Versace’s beautifully handcrafted Men’s Lux Leather belts, $265 to $295 each, and reptile wallets from $235 to $475. Located at The Bravern, 700 110th Ave. NE, #275, Bellevue, 425-688-1669.

Neiman Marcus has been creating exclusive holiday surprises since 1907 that we want to have and give. Some ideas:

Liqueur Cakes, $34-$54, available in Epicure, Level 2;  Creed Royal-Oud Eau de Parfum, 2.5 ounces, $300, available in Cosmetics, Level 1; Jellycat Brown polyester “Pudge” bear. $90, available in Children’s World, Plaza Level; Located in The Bravern, 11111 NE Eighth St., Bellevue, 425-452-3300.

Rose Dennis is a Greater Seattle style icon. Singled out by numerous publications, such as Seattle Magazine, she’s been crowned as Seattle’s Best Dressed, a Signature Style Uptown Girl and as a reigning tastemaker.

Handsome and stylish – what a combination. Those who have it always look fashionable. Here  are my Top Five Men who have their own personal style.

Duell Fisher

I remember when Duell formed Team Photogenic way back in 2001 and it is now the photography company hired by most event organizations in the Pacific Northwest.

In this photo Duell is wearing the perfectly designed Bordeaux custom tuxedo on the red carpet. Besides looking good, he enjoys traveling, watching movies and reading gossip magazines.

Lucien Postlewaite

Lucien Postlewaite joined Pacific Northwest Ballet as an apprentice in 2003, was promoted to soloist in 2007 and then principal in 2008.

Off stage, Lucien has a love for clothes – and knows how to showcase his creativity in what he wears. He also likes to travel, spend time with friends, and eat great food. He does this all in style, of course.

Mark Pellegrino

During the day, Mark Pellegrino must dress to impress in the business world. He sports the perfectly tailored wool suit, pressed white dress shirt, silk tie and polished leather dress shoes for his professional job at Rainier Group Investment Advisory in Bellevue.

In his leisure time, Mark enjoys being comfortable by wearing designer jeans with a relaxed blazer and shirt.

John Stevens

John Stevens is partner in Stevens-Williams, a public relations and marketing services company specializing in travel, home design and luxury goods.

I continue to admire his great taste in clothing and accessories. John shared that in the summer he “likes to go to his lake home in Idaho where he enjoys swimming, long walks with his Corgi mix, Duke (a shelter rescue), wonderful patio entertaining, and boating.”

Ian MacNeil

Ian MacNeil is a true international and domestic entrepreneur.

Next to his passion for business he has a creative side. Ian is a painter specializing in acrylics and encaustic painting techniques. He is also an accomplished golfer, a private pilot, an avid skier and wine enthusiast.

I enjoy seeing him at events because he has no fear of standing out, which is a great!

Rose Dennis is a Greater Seattle style icon. Singled out by numerous publications, such as Seattle Magazine, she’s been crowned as Seattle’s Best Dressed, a Signature Style Uptown Girl and as a reigning tastemaker.

By Gabrielle Nomura

It’s almost like a dance – conducting an orchestra.

At least, that’s how Sammamish Symphony Orchestra maestro, R. Joseph Scott, puts it.

Every eyebrow raise or smile, the sharp or graceful gestures Scott makes during a performance tell a story that informs the 80 musicians how to play.

“It’s not about surrendering to the music,” he says. “It’s about being true to it.”

Scott is a leader of the symphony in many ways, not just with his baton.

This year marks the orchestra’s 20th season. Scott says he’s seen the ensemble double in size in the 13 years he’s been conductor, in addition to growing artistically.  Organizers of the group attribute that success, in part, to his vision.

“You have to want to lead in order to be a good conductor,” says Scott, who first organized and led choral groups as a high school student.  “The sound is built on the personality of the conductor. You’re conveying all the time what you feel; what you want to be brought out in the music.”

In addition to his more than a decade with the Sammamish group, Scott founded the now defunct Bellevue Philharmonic Orchestra, serving as music director, conductor and general manager from 1967 – 1997.

“It’s always a challenge to keep people coming to the concerts,” he says. The Sammamish ensemble relies on volunteer talent, as well as a broad base of support from Eastsiders and other audience members from the Greater Seattle area.

But, despite current challenges for arts groups, it’s so important to keep music a vital part of the community, he says.

“There is nothing like a live performance, being able to visually see where the sound comes from and how its achieved.”

MORE INFORMATION:

The next Sammamish Symphony Orchestra performance, “Holiday Pops,” is Dec. 10-11 at Eastlake Performing Arts Center, 400 228th Ave. NE, Sammamish. For more information, go to http://www.sammamishsymphony.org/.

Stylish guests attended Fashion’s Night Out (FNO) on Thursday, Sept. 8 at The Shops at The Bravern. This global event was created in 2009 in NYC by Vogue Editor Anna Wintour, with the goal of putting excitement back into the retail industry.

FNO is now a global event from New York to Seattle, Australia to Russia. Upon arriving on the red carpet in Bellevue, guests had the opportunity to pose for that perfect photo and be interviewed on camera by Joan Kelly and Duell Fisher.

The highlight for many of us was the runway fashion show at Neiman Marcus, where beautiful models wore the key trends for fall 2011. The “Lady Chic” look stood out: pumps, pencil skirts, dresses, leather pants and skirts, fur collars and shrugs and handheld handbags.

The new hot color for fall is Bordeaux. All shades of burgundy, red, and pink accents, were showcased with shoes, sweaters, necklaces and cuffs and leather gloves. FNO was a memorable evening where everyone took the time to be seen by wearing the perfect outfit

These guests know how to look perfect on the red carpet. They selected the right outfit that nicely  showcased their body silhouette and their photo pose and smile shows that they are comfortable being in the spotlight.

Rose Dennis is a Greater Seattle style icon. Singled out by numerous publications, such as Seattle Magazine, she’s been crowned as Seattle’s Best Dressed, a Signature Style Uptown Girl and as a reigning tastemaker.

Molly Mesnick with fashion stylist Darcy Camden

Ian MacNeil, Elizabeth Waldron-Nagy, Christian Shevchenko and Joan Kelly

Alain Garcia and Darnell Sue

Years ago, I began keeping a list I call Crucial Life Skills for Babies. It was born of my realization that successful adulthood requires a child to learn a myriad of skills beyond reading, writing and arithmetic.

In fact, these vital lessons may be more valuable than traditional education – certainly more practical for everyday use than algebra or Shakespeare.  It’s possible to categorize many of these key learnings into an abbreviated lesson plan of sorts, focused on four categories: Picking, Searching, Wiping, and Sucking.

Picking

Many of the mini-dramas and traumas we navigate each day are centered around the seemingly simple act of picking: Picking an outfit, picking the bathroom door lock when your sister is taking too long, picking your battles, picking your nose (privately if you’re smart, publicly if you’re under five).

Mastering the art of picking is important. How your child handles picking teams now may indicate her ability to pick a mate later. Super bonus to the parent of the child who invents a way to pick your family, they will be heroes to many.  Hopefully they’ll pick you to keep you around for the I.P.O.

Searching

I spend half my life searching.  Anyone who has coached my kids knows this, having rolled their eyes as my shoeless, pad-less and ball-less spawn arrive at practice. We are all perpetually searching. Searching for solutions, searching the crowd, searching for acceptance, searching for data, searching for socks, searching for Mom, who is searching for something to write with–AGAIN!  Learning the art of searching early is lucky, as long your kids don’t enjoy searching for trouble, like I did.

Wiping

Parents everywhere do a happy dance the day their kid masters the delicate art of wiping. There is a remarkable sense (and reality) of liberation when Junior learns how to wipe: How to wipe his nose, his bottom, the milk he just spilled all over the kitchen table.  Basic wiping skills are important and lead to more detailed wiping skills such as sunscreen application, waxing dad’s car, applying acne meds and using my favorite Costco Kirkland brand disinfecting wipes to clean toilets. If you have boys you know that last one is not only crucial, but life-enhancing for the whole family.

Sucking

One of the most amazing and adorable tricks a baby can perform intrauterine is sucking its thumb.  It is our most instinctual and oft-used skill.  Think about it.  You’re born, and it’s all “Welcome to the World, Life Sucks, Suck This!”

And so it begins.  Babies suck in their first breath and then spend their first days searching for something to suck. They almost immediately graduate to picking; breast or bottle, binky or thumb?  Meanwhile, they are getting constantly wiped on one end or the other until the day arrives that they can do it themselves.  But the sucking doesn’t stop with weaning.

It just changes. They still have to learn diplomacy skills or rather, how to suck up; beginning with grandparents, moving on to teachers, bosses etc.  By the time we have our own children we’re expected to know and teach others how to traverse that fine line between practical suck-uppery and sycophantic blather.

And then of course there is the cold reality of having to deal with life’s disappointments.  Whether it’s not getting the same teacher as your best friend, getting passed over for promotion or missing out on that rare YSL nail polish color by just one customer, it’s crucial we learn there are times in life where we just have to suck it up!

Wanna say Hiya to Heija? Follow her on Twitter (@Heija) Friend her on Facebook or relax, sit back, and silently judge her life in the flickering glow of your computer screen at her blog The Worst Mother in the World (www.Heija.com).

Dear reader,

I have a mission for you – if you dare. Grab your coats, hop in the car and hit the road to Sammamish.

Here, you will find strange and eerie delights and confront some of your worst fears at Nightmare at Beaver Lake – similar to the idea of a haunted house – but taking place over three-quarters of a mile in Beaver Lake Park.

Walking (or running, if you’re like me and are easily terrified) through the dark woods, you will meet ghouls, deranged fiends and freakish characters.

Depending on how you do with horror movies, it’s either the worst, or best, Halloween you could hope for. Scariness-wise, it makes most haunted houses look like a “Sesame Street” set.

When people attend this haunt, featured on pages 10-11, they probably have all the expectations that come with Halloween. It will be dark, macabre, and leave visitors high on adrenaline, hearts pounding with fear.

But what they may not realize, is something good comes out of it, and I’m not just talking about the visitor’s thrill of being freaked out.

Over months of planning, training the actors who make the haunt come alive and building the fantastic sets, the organizers of this event form friendships and for some, finally find a place where they belong.

Additionally, scaring people actually helps people. When you attend Nightmare at Beaver Lake, bring some non-perishable food or canned goods. You’ll get $1 off your ticket price and donate to a worthy cause like Eastside Domestic Violence Program. Last year, the haunt generated $7,000 for local charities and organizations and donated more than 2,000 pounds of food.

In other words, have fun, do good. Happy Halloween!